Frog shit

As soon as I would start to clean it off from one spot on my bed I would find another and another until it was literally everywhere that I looked. It was green - different shades of green and it was mushy - thank god it wasn't hot shit. Just mushy.

It started with a frog jumping in my room and up onto my bed. It was fairly large and upon further inspection I noticed it had a baby frog in its mouth. I was worried at first that it would bite the baby frog or eat it but it didn't so I thought that was just how they were carried around. But then, suddenly a long, hard shelled, glossy spider began to crawl up. It moved with the grace of a walking stick and attached behind it, it drug a scorpions pincher. Naturally I freaked out at the sight - especially because at this point both creatures had now violated that which is sacred -not be touched by insects and the like - MY BED! I flailed momentarily and ran out to get my dad who was preparing to go to bed upstairs. The upstairs hall light was still on. Kara came running out of her upstairs bedroom to see the commotion, my father was second to emerge from his room. Surprisingly the spider creature had followed me without reservation. It was easy for me to justify my panic as I dodged this pet as it moved past me and continued up the stairs. It seemed harmless enough and it was in "Dad's" territory now, nothing he couldn't handle, so I said goodnight and went back to my room. The frog was still there sitting atop my curtain rod watching. The baby frog had escaped its parent's mouth and had jumped down onto my bed. I was fine with it at first because it was an adorable little frog, but then it started to make for my pillow and the exposed sheet area. And before I could fully revolt from the ickiness of frog slime on my pillow, the large frog leaped from the curtain s onto my pillow and bit the baby frog's head off!

I didn't know which to be more horrified about, a frog eating it's child or the disgusting dead frog remnants smeared across what was my safe haven of a pillow. GOD! GROSS! And ickiness swept over me. I lurched for a towel to get that shit off my pillow. Someone had arrived after hearing the commotion and started to help me clean up the gloppy mess. No sooner had I swiped up the first bit of green, grainy, mushy goo, the large frog had plopped itself on another part of my bed - this time leaving a pile of green mushy poop where it had just been. It was a green clay bodied mound just ruining my precious sanctuary and staining my hope for a restful slumber. As I moved to clean up the next pile I noticed another - then another - then another as I pulled my sheets back! Each pile a different shade of green and a different shape. They seemed to appear anywhere my eye could see, literally as if my eyes created them upon looking at my bed. At this point there was more green than white bedding and wave of defeat, ickiness and panic came over me right before I woke up.

Brain stew

I made myself write it down in my dream. Richard - Katie was there and Heather was pregnant. I saw Sam Curtis he was like 8 feet tall and I felt like he had simply moved away for a long time. When I punched him on the leg affectionately it clamored like a hollow tube of steel. He tossed an egg at me from the end of a parking lot near a park. I caught it not knowing what it was before I tossed it back and felt the ovalness of it meander out of my perfectly balled up hand. It crashed down on the asphalt with a bang unnatural to an egg hitting asphalt and I was approached by security asking why I was throwing eggs. Sam was mad I had broke it. He had long curly hair and walked as if he were on stilts. He wore a flannel shirt. I promised him disgruntledly that I would go buy him a new one. So I departed from him and began to make my way to the grocery store. There is when Richard and Heather met up with me and Katie. We had to cross a very busy road - possibly highway and I was worried for the baby's sake, eyeing her stomach and the road cautiously to make sure it would not get hit. Then I realized I was pregnant. When I woke up in my dream I was telling my mom about it without looking at her, but writing down the words to remember this dream, Pregnant, egg and Sam Curtis.

Sam, Richard, pregnant, Katie, egg, breakable, anger, life threatening.

The skeletons in my closet were stirring the pot last night. At least I had the good sense to write it down.

get that shit out my mouth!

Japan has got its hook into me and I am but a fish removed from my little pond.  I know this fancy world outside my comfort zone has many beautiful things and many possibilities.  I'm trying to gauge it all while I'm desperately trying to breath out of my element.  Though I'm feeling like my fate is either in someone's glass cage with recycled water or in a frying pan.  I am waiting for sweet release and to be submerged back in the water I am familiar with.  I cannot wait to taste its sweet essence and feel it on my skin.  A cold and refreshing return is just what the doctor ordered.  Time and space will cure all ailments.  Though I will wear the scars as badges of honor in my experience.  I will appreciate my life and my good fortune.  

*all metaphors aside this is just culture shock.  I am bitching more than necessary but lamenting is like my third favorite thing to do.  I need to GET OVER IT and jump back in.  I need to revive the excitement and stop trying to coast through this...I'm getting stuck in an eddy.  balls.  sorry, okay okay!!!  I'm back!  

あしたはにほんごのれんしゅをいきます- がんばって

that's right...（i think)

A camera without vision

Why can't I take good pictures?  It's almost like a handicap.  It seems like everyone who travels should be able to take a decent photo.  If you're going to the effort to travel somewhere to see some real beauty it is more than a pity to be unable to capture that for all time.  But whatever, so what - I can't do it.  My pictures are very similar to the way I am in real life, quick, uncalculated and celebratory of each minute regardless of what a silly camera can catch.  I am not going to give up on taking photos (despite the fact that it seems I am the only camera disabled person in the JET program) I just need to apologize in advance and suggest that you travel as much as you can so you can see these places behind your own eyes.   Mine see everything perfectly and could not be more grateful.  And when I share these moments with you, the syllables and inflection in my words will just have to be enough.

exhibit A:  Josh takes a pic of the cliffs in Obama....  

My pic of the cliffs.  

I really thought I had something....wrong.  

15 minutes of International fame = a really long blog

Today Obama is Pr

esident and our country takes a step in the right direction.  I celebrated in Obama, Japan, almost a complete world away with other pe

ople who were right there ready to welcome him into a position for change.  I cannot begin to describe how excited, no - awed I am by the patriotism that took place in order for Obama to become the President, but I can describe to you what celebrating that patriotism in Obama, Japan was like.  Surreal. 

Jeremiah (thank God I can finally spell his name - shit), Dale and I rallied on the train at 6:50 in the a.m. to get to the bus heading for Obama by 7:10.  We did not know what Obama looked like, or if we would be able to follow the polls.  We heard it was a "small fishing town" and with adventure and hope in our hearts we departed anyway, determined to dedicate this day to being America as close to "Obama" as we could be....right?  Dale and Jeremiah brought their laptops.  We were fully prepared to search for the closest Internet place and hook up if nothing was happening.  We were not prepared for what we were actually about to find.

Our 45 minute bus ride was scenic and we watched the sun stretch out over the mountain peeks.  We knew we were closer to Obama every stop the meter above the driver added an extra 100 yen here and there.  

The police at the "police box" at the train station in Obama, told us the festivities had ended and though initially we were a little miffed we missed "it" we were set on having a party that day and we set off to Moss Burger to find our Internets.  As we asked for directions, Jeremiah came upon a Japanese word he was not familiar with....Shomo or something of that nature.  Because it was 8 o'clock in the morning and I was feeling very comfortable being around people who don't speak English, I made the very common mistake of just being a smart ass for fun.  I said, "maybe we could just act it out" and before I could congratulate myself for being sooo  clever, another police man echoed me, "act".  Quite possibly the only English word he knows so, part embarrassment, partly in the mood to follow this charade out I started to wobble my arms a bit and rock from one leg to the next - adding the word "act" to it just to have fun.  I don't know what the fuck I did but suddenly the police woman who was giving the directions started to mimic my movements and declared, "fireman".  I repeated, "fireman?" a little caught off guard that she said something in English.  Dale and Jeremiah's jaws dropped as they gawked at my incredible translation of Shomo (or whatever the word was).  I was just as confused but however it worked this police woman was able to articulate fireman from my ridiculous smart ass remark which led us to the fire station where we could see the Moss burger.

Honestly, I don't know how the world works and I'm starting to realize it might just be one big joke.

Moss burger was great.  It was open.  There was no Internet however, though a laptop was set up at the end of the counter by the older man who was working solo.  We were more than happy to grab a burger before running off to the next Internet spot...it wouldn't be open for an hour.  Coffee and a chili cheese burger, make it 3 please.  Dale had run outside to check for wifi...Jeremiah and I set up at an empty table...English rap was thumping through the sound system.  I asked Jeremiah if he thought the old man liked the music, so he asked, we got a smile and no response.  We took it as a no.  

The sun was out in full morning effect, 8:30 heat...thank god I brought 2 sweaters and my uggs! Before I could say - thanks for the free keitai bling, Dale had brought in 2 other Americans who came to Obama to celebrate.  Everyone here has a strange name - Gabby brought this to my attention and now it is all I can think about.  So in come, Gabriel and Hathem. Gabriel is from Kansas, his hair is dark and shaggy and he has fierce green and brown eyes furrowed under dark eyebrows and stands all of 5'-5" tall.  Hathem is ethnic (which sounds so ridiculous to describe someone as, while living in Japan and realizing we are all ethnic, what the fuck).  He has dark curly hair and big brown eyes with long lashes behind some fancy glasses.  He is from New York.  Of course.  I am excited to see them (its always excited to run into fellow Americans - except when I get drunk in Kyoto and walk around bitching about all the white people, sorry).  But on election day, bring em out, bring em out!   I am even more excited because they inform us the party hasn't even begun and they bust out a map to take us there.  More exciting than all this is the craziness of running into 2 other Americans who speak Japanese as they and Jeremiah now turn to the Moss burger employee and start speaking the garble I have to listen to day in and day out....it was almost a twin peaks experience (I'm assuming, I always hear that but have never actually seen twin peaks.  I now assume all freaky shit is a twin peaks experience...you tell me) And it gets better still when some other Japanese person walks into the moss burger and offers to walk Gabriel and Hathem straight to the party so they don't get lost.  This is truly a country that cares.

I grab the bags of food to go and take them outside to eat them with Dale and Jeremiah as our friend Josh shows up.  (I make the mistake of introducing him as Justin a few times later in the day but he doesn't correct me until I find out from Dale I've been saying it wrong the whole time, I hate that, but he doesn't seem to mind).  At this point it is almost 9 something and we are fully aware we are not drunk yet.  Dale resolves this with beers he grabs at the "Family Mart" on the corner...to go with our chili cheese burgers.  He has also brought some whiskey which I decide to drink first...liquor before beer, right?  So it looks like the trip is going to be more exciting than we hoped for.  A party.  Small or not it was an assembly and we would follow the polls it would not be all for not.

For the record, Obama is not a small town.  Everyone says it is but it's much bigger than my town.  Or any towns in Takashima from what I can tell....but people continue to contest to how small it is.  We walk for some time drinking my beer, sipping my whiskey and coffee, alternating my drinks and which arm will be holding my over sized sweater.  The morning shade is cool and breezy but the morning sun is incubating my legs right through my dark skinny jeans and my sheep skin uggs.  Are we there yet?  We see water, there is potential.  Before we see the Mermaid Plaza where the party is, we see the biggest sign with an upside down dead fish painted on it.  Do I take a picture no?  Do we all wonder what that store could be selling with a giant dead fish on it?  A little, but this is Japan.  We enter the building, me concealing my open beer (it's legal to drink in public but maybe not in public buildings?).  There is a small group of people milling around, a table set up to greet handing out Obama chopsticks and I can see a table where they are selling the I heart Obama shirts.  Giant flat screen TVs are set up with live coverage in English - we have arrived.  A crazy group of Japanese people are freaking out as they always do on Japanese TV, dressed in some strange costumes.  One a blue polyester suit, one dressed like a power ranger, one wearing a special helmet with crazy shit glued to the top and a fancy lady in a ruffly blue strapless dress with white sunglasses atop her head.

Not too much is happening so Jeremiah and I head outside - me to chug my beer and Jeremiah to search for a coke to top with some whiskey.  We happen across some dudes smoking outside.  They ask Jeremiah what press we are with then we say - we're not press and ask for the vending machine.  We find one, get 2 cokes and are just about to pour ourselves a perfectly deserved beverage when a string of kindergarten kids walk by holding hands....we wait.  We're not saints but we try not encourage too much delinquency, from small children that is.  And back into the building for the partay to start.

(to be continued...there is a lot to write about obviously so I need to pace myself.  Enjoy the suspense.)

party 

newspapers - woah cool

more cameras

oh a video camera cool

obama shirt

obama chopsticks

TVs broadcasting CNN

hula dancers?

Obama ranger?

cameras?

more JETs - more cameras

chants

laughter

more cameras

go on stage - hercules - cameras - hot

jeremiah + kyla = stanch liberals

performances

polls

Virginia

Ohio - it's all over

watched the states turn blue on CNN

get on the table

chants

drinking - pass the cup

song and dance man - Obama is beautiful world

hula - no wait OBAMA IS PRESIDENT

crazy business

interviews! 

interviews!

interviews!

hold the sign!!!

CNN

speeches - news papers hot off the press

can I have your jacket?

YES!

lunch? Booze?

Ferry?

Food?

weather and booze

Ferry ride - fast and free

wind beneath my wings

the Kompai!

Dutch photojournalist - natural disasters....nightmares...hands

Kenyan Embassador speaks!

photos!!

running for the bus

kids show us the way

station - drunk lady dale is charming

german journalist who jumps on bus and criticizes my intellect

home 

fame.

one for me.

I have turned a corner, or have made it around the bend, one or the other.  I now know that I sometimes avoid accountability in my life by "going with the flow".   Some would say that's just a way of living, but I know from my previous life (somewhere before college and ex boyfriends) that I am capable of so much more when I pull my head out of the sand and push forward with the things I truly want in life.

1.  I want to be an interior designer and I will do what I need to, to get that job.  THAT job.  

I can have it.  It is waiting for me...so is my furniture.

2.  I want financial security and am ready to start .....budgeting (yay) again.  Wouldn't that be a treat to have money in the bank?  I am letting go of my ideas that I need new clothes whenever I find some and I am letting go of the idea that if I budget or plan on what to spend my money on then I will miss out on the unplanned bits of life...letting go of the idea of missing out in general.  (please refer to my theory : the way you do one thing in life is the way you do everything)

3.  Instead of giving myself a stomach ulcer from worry I will devote my energy to the positive outcomes that I desire and let go of all the other unnecessary bullshit.

4.  I have finally figured out how I want my portfolio to look!  and suddenly I feel like myself.

5.  I am going to let go of my ideas that I need to throw money at my problems rather than taking the time to solve them or better yet prevent ;)  example : housing, grocery shopping, vacations, entertainment, transportation, train tickets, everything.

6. Oh, and when designing things - what I design is original, a Kyla original.  It doesn't have to be contrived to be an original it can just be newly inspired and refreshed.  Everyone is looking for rebirth.  That's why we go to sleep every night.

This is not why I started writing tonight but this is what came out.  And how did I discover all these wonderful things about myself you may be wondering?  It did not all come from just one single event, but in the fun things I get to do with my life here in Japan :

While eating chicken katsudon for breakfast at a small restaurant in Imazu outside of Pule's apartment...post a night of Shaun of the Dead and 28 weeks later talking to Dale (who we call Dirty D) about what life in America is going to be like when we return - or what this life has to offer outside the box.  

Also, watching 5 adults help each other put zombie make up on and making fake wounds with gelatin and fake blood while the other 3 zombies are practicing the thriller routine in Mary and Talon's tatami room.  

I had a glimmering moment of awareness riding on the train by myself while an old man who I named "gummy" stared at me over the top of the train seat.  I also have these revelations while cleaning my kitchen and looking at the garbage I still don't know how to "recycle".  They recycle EVERYTHING here.  It's not just getting the right things on the right days but how to prepare it for recycling, sheesh.  

I think about all of these things when I ride my bike to school in the morning - passing the people who work at the bank sweeping the leaves off the sidewalk and out of the street every morning.  And when I sit with my back to a room full of about 25 Japanese coworkers who are scurrying about while I am sitting quietly observing how all the windows are open and there are more than a few bugs that are trying to escape but can't find the opening in the wall.

Don't quote me but, the world works in mysterious ways.