So, I am getting ready to come home to America. Wow, I can hardly believe it has been nearly 10 months! Here is what is going on in my brain about returning....
I have changed.
I had this epiphany when I returned from my trip in Tokyo (remind me to tell you about Tokyo - yikes!) I realized that I have been trying so hard to not let anything change between me and my friends in the states, or me and my family, for fear of what would happen when I returned. But it's too late and nothing I can control. I have changed and when I come home, everything will be the same.
Well, for the most part. I know what Portland looks like and where most things are. I know what my family is like and what they are doing and how they do it and where I fit in. I know what people are thinking (for the most part, societally at best). And though it will be exciting and thrilling to be apart of that same machine again, it will be the same machine I have always known.
Believe me, I'm READY to come home. But a part of me lives here now. I have put some roots down in Japan and it will be hard to say goodbye. Goodbye to not knowing what others are really saying, goodbye to not knowing what I'm really eating (and definitely not knowing how to say what it is). Goodbye to being the only white person on the train. Goodbye to everyone staring at me. Goodbye to never knowing what the weather will be like, if it will go from a balmy 70 degrees to a rainy wind storm for 5 minutes (okay so that sounds a little bit like Portland, but its different because it's Japan). Goodbye to school lunches and looking around before eating to see HOW to eat my lunch. Goodbye to my group of ALT buddies who have all asked the same questions, "WTF" and "OMG". And I'll miss it all.
I have 2 more months to enjoy it and you better believe I relish everyday and the daily routine of naivety and ignorance that comes with it. I have a touch rugby tournament at the end of the month (We are 'Fistful of Funazushi' watch out). I have a Cowboys and Indian Theme party at my house June 13th...wait for the photos. And in July I have the Kyoto Matsuri, where I get to wear my Yukata (a thin kimono type wrap) and drink in the closed off streets of Sanjo...AND a trip to Okinawa! And BAM, just like that I'll be on a flight home.
I can't wait to see everyone again, especially my little nephews who ask if I can come home that weekend, every time I talk to them. But until then, stay tuned and keep checking out my pics on facebook....I'll try to post some on here when I get home. (I usually do all my posts on the computer at school, so I don't have any photos...) Sorry.
Wait for it...
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Kyla -
Remember that just as you have changed, others have changed, grown, and shifted too. Just as you have seen the world in a new light and perspective, leave assumptions at the airport when you return home. Others might want to be seen as they are in the moment today and not when you left. And by others yes, I mean me.
-Sabrina
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