It's really not funny anymore. Its just frustrating. Ok, so, maybe it is a little funny. Today I was quite proud of myself for not asking how to "eat" my school lunch. When they serve a shallow bowl full of rice, its typically for some sort of curry or indicates a sauce will be poured on. The sauce or curry is usually in the actual bowl next to the shallow bowl of rice. So, I grab this bowl full of soup looking egg and tofu and pour merrily atop my rice. I don't even look around to see if anyone else is eating it this way. I have learned over the last 7 months that some people like it separate, some people put the rice in the bowl or vice versa, I have committed to eating it poured over the rice in the shallow bowl. I am pleased with my new found confidence. My confidence quickly escapes when I look over and my supervisor has scraped the meat and veggies from our plate onto the rice and has left the "soup" (and that it was) in the soup bowl.
What is worse: The ignorant pride of pouring my soup over my rice or that fact that my supervisor didn't even lean over the 12" she sits next to me and say, "oh, this is how we do it"?
No one says anything in this country. Its almost worse that they let it slide. It feels like unnecessary shame. Please, please, please tell me when I have just poured soup over the rice so we can laugh about this together. Otherwise it feels so embarrassing with a twinge of stupidity and shame.
As soon as I noticed the appropriate food preparations, I scraped the meat and veggies over the soup on top of the rice and thought, "fuck it. I like it with the soup. It all goes to the same place anyway." That was the best I could do to convince myself not to let my emotional disappointment seethe out. I finished my lunch and the day goes on.
But I know that they know that I didn't know and who knows if they know that I know now?
And yes, it matters.
Humility. Ouch.
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